Candy Drabbles and Cannonballs
by swallowfatewings
Summary: Captain Jack Sparrow goes on a little visit to the factory, of course for a cause. He meets an unnerving chocolatier and his plan gets messed up, along with other things. The two are forced to fall into adventure before they lose what is precious to them.
1. Prologue

I see you're interested to learn about Willy Wonka's encounter with this very peculiar swashbuckling pirate known as the notorious Jack Sparrow. Come, come... you still got a lot to lose your head on.

A/N: This fic is absolutely timeless and nuts so you might be surprised but don't nag about it, k?

I don't own Captain Jack Sparrow nor Willy Wonka but we're friends.

And I do disclaim in advance any familiar character that pops out at any part of the story.

* * *

Prologue

There he was, carelessly drifting away in one of his deep undisturbed hours of pure imagination. No sign of stirring was around except for the calm wispy wind that crept through the dusty hidden holes, whichever movements it did make, they were clearly indiscernible. It was just a rusty, wooden creaking room, isolated as well, yes, but this was where the renowned extraordinary inventions have first been taking place. Willy tilted his fascinated purple eyes towards the small window that is barely there. The semi full-moon shone softly on him through that tarnished scrap of glass, which made him a tad visible, visible enough for anyone who was standing there in the far end of the room to detect him. Imagine what a glorious sight it would be, gently peeking in from a slight distance, watching a candy-maker's mind unfurling and pouring out all those terrific fantasies that are deftly being created.

Unlike his odd flashback distractions, he simply sits in his secret tower room as mildly and as absentmindedly as ever, his back straight ever so gracefully on a plain wooden chair facing the window, his cane placed neatly beside his right foot, his top hat, of course, resting on top of his glossy chocolaty hair that flowed ever so gently behind his neck. It was the smallest, barest room in the factory that stood the highest, that was strangely invisible from the rest of the world. Willy Wonka found his most peaceful moments here. His eyes intrigued by anything he saw outside the windowpane or inside his head, non-physically clapping his hands together in his thoughts and haughtily saying to himself 'what a genius I am' by each latest idea that pops. You'd know this if you see a quick animated dance sprinkle in his eyes. That was the farthest motion Willy could do. He thought he could wrestle some new challenge, but nothing of that sort came his way. Ah well, he let out an absent giggle. Candy is candy, so as the people made to make candy, and will be making candy for the rest of their lives. He considered that for a moment. 'I like that.'

A loud thud blasted out from somewhere on the streets. Willy Wonka listlessly lowered his head from the raven starlit sky towards the horrid, hectic city that he almost never lay foot in, and then let his eyes fall wryly on the snow coated gateway of his own factory, set in a whole landscape before him. First he saw nothing of any interest, but then he noticed something of an incredible enormity that even he, an erratic dreamer himself, could not have imagined to be gliding on the street right in front of his factory. The mysterious object must've been of dark colour for the darkness complemented its obscurity, but one thing was unmistakably true and all as well annoying, the shrill noise it emitted. That wasn't all. There came voices of people, of men, a roguish crowd of brutish ruffians, and with a fine form for an ambush, too. They seemed to have broken in as they've already knocked the giant factory gate down, sending it flat onto the snow as it was buried in no time. A ship was planted in its place, and the creatures began to spring out of it from all directions. Wonka watched this in animation, inclining his body another inch further by each thrilling part. Ah, so it is true. Pirates...

Willy Wonka smoothed down a strand of his hair and quickly stood up straight, taking his cane in his elegant grip, and still without turning away from the window, he lightly adjusted his hat. He ought to be prepared if he was going down there to meet his dear guests.

Please review : ), oh and it's open for flames only on one condition and that's ONLY if you think this fic really deserves it.

Adios, next time...


	2. Jack 'breaks' in

Hey! It took me forever to be done with this chapter. Glad to say Here's what's next! Sorry am going too slow, plz bare with me.

I don't own Willy Wonka. I don't own Sparrow. Sigh... wonder for how much longer will I keep sayingthis stuff...

Anyway, hope you like!

* * *

Chapter 1 

The figure towering the horizon with his ship was no other than Captain Jack Sparrow, sparkling in his splendor. He stood on air holding on to the riggings and smirked pompously as he watched his prowling warriors besieging the place, pursuing a way in. After defeating the grouchy Captain Hook in a battle that could not be alleged in the history of magic, dumped his pirate crew in the crocodile cove (only it was the mermaid's but he doesn't realize it yet), untamed the lost boys additionally, and drank up all the rum he could swill, Jack was once again on a trail of his deranged master plans of pillaging and plundering. Speaking of magic, Jack Sparrow has made it to become a surprising new fable not to be counted out of the fairytale series of Never Neverland. Of course, his foreign mouth-watering adventures were what gave the Neverlands this thought. It was its wish that this swashbuckling crazy pirate would linger on its sides. But Jack had some other eerie adventures he had to sail through, so he borrowed some pixie dust from Peter Pan's exotic faerie to continue to his next destination.

Jack watched the gigantic dark figure looming over him; his allured hawk-like vision flickered with a stealthy kind of amusement. This is it; his eyes glimmered with more delight. The biggest mystery of all that the brilliant Captain Jack Sparrow is about to be the first to uncover. He leaped off the riggings, soaring between the masts then landed on deck. Keeping his perfect balance, he positioned himself in his boots and then Jack began to strut. He strutted over to the lady who was steering the helm.

"Everything's steady, Captain," she uttered. Then her dark eye cast a stern glance at the crew that was on the verge of bringing down the place. Her attention was drawn to Jack.

"Captain, wouldn't you say it's quite discourteous to be interrupting like so? After all, that man is of great honor to the people who all speak and know of him. That shows the notable eminence that is ought to be respected?"

"What are you speakin' o', AnaMaria! Bloody 'ell 'av you forgotten your manners, your bloody who you are, who's the bloody captain 'ere? Stop using your head, woman an' do what ei pirate 'as to do! Now be done with it!"

"Aye, captain," she answered quickly, turning her face away.

Jack snorted and turned his nose up at the insult he's just got. How dare she speak so highly of another man? I'll teach that woman who she dares to look up to. It's enough she got swashed away by some jaunty flying boy in Neverland, Fairely enough!

There came a sudden bother in the air and Jack looked up frowningly and sniffed.

Anna Maria found a suffocating man by her side. She turned round and saw Jack Sparrow bent thirty degrees down to his waist, his face shrinking and deepening into a brilliant shade of red. He was coughing mad. Each time he tried to look up and curse, he was bogged down by another merciless attack. Anna watched this out of the corner of her eyes in incredulous amusement. If she was hiding chunks of laughs, she was good at it.

"What's that----?" Jack finally managed to gasp out.

"Chocolate, captain," she answered with a wry smile, her keen eyes remained straight ahead. To her, of course, the sent was a heavenly delight. She inwardly breathed it in and the delight swelled.

"Bloody..." he started but was hindered by a stiff cough.

"What...?" she asked, leaning her face closer towards him. He lifted his peeved gaze slightly at her and mumbled something.

"Sorry, again?"

Instead of answering her, Captain Sparrow, as soon as he was able to stand so priggishly up, walked over to the edge of his ship and signaled to his men with the sternness of his eyes.

"Hands off the field, you scabrous dogs! A different foray has been weighed!"

At this, Anna Maria's eyebrows swung up. She was and was not surprised. Of course, she knew that he knew that her perspective was much, much smarter and more efficient than his. He only had to brag about how high and mighty he is.

"What are you staring at, woman? Anchor the Pearl!" Jack smirked and tilted his hat.

"Women," he said flippantly as he disembarked the ship. Anna Maria watched him sulkily, since she's heard him.

"Men," she said hoarsely by the helm.

Darkness mixing together with the faint glow of the moon spelled an eerie piratey mood. The crew was lined up in front of the factory's unyielding doors. Their tattered garments swayed gently by the wind in this unusual stillness, until footsteps were heard, stomping into the snow as it made a clinking sound. Captain Jack Sparrow appeared between his men as he strutted over to the factory, followed by his favorite woman. He and Anna Maria waited in front of the door for a long while. It was too long for Jack and he was starting to get impatient, boringly twitching his mustache or rolling his eyes upwards, and then downwards. He whirled round to face Anna.

"Shall I ring the bell?" he mockingly commented with a crooked irritated smile, slightly raising his arm towards the shadow-showered factory door. She just blinked and he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Cannonballs are a dandy way for tackling doors, dontchya think?"

Jack's eyes widened. They were still fixed on Anna, except that they didn't really seem to be looking at her. They looked stunned. Jack somewhat gulped, his arm still raised. He then became aware of Anna, but just to stare at her questioningly. She glared back at him only out of the bewilderment he was freaking her out with. Jack chose to, very warily turn his stiff head back to his other side. Beneath the moonlight, he came face to face with the most peculiar character ever seen. The perkiness in his voice was very well showing, also his wide stretched out grin that made it a bit hard for Jack's beautiful to adjust with the radiating, unusually bright morsels it contained. The only thing that was luminous in the dark was this creature's face, which made it a tad creepy for the Jack, and the eyes he found ridiculous to believe. _Purple?_

Jack Sparrow stifled a cough. He didn't know how to react.

Willy Wonka, grinning as merrily as sparking everyday, walked giddily, waving his lovable cane to his side and stepped up a few steps higher, to welcome his shadowy, obscure visitors. His eyes looked over at them and immediately lost its merriment.

"Uhh..." he stammered, overtaken their really dark and indistinct expressions that made them look so much sinister, too sinister to smile at. But Willy did smile, despite that. He always smiled. Having all those forms of smiles, he needn't worry, for any smile of his can fill any other expression as clearly as they need to be shown. _Any smile of his could suddenly be petrifying._

Jack watched him in silent awe. Wonka, after flushing, broke into a nervous light giggle and grinned again. The grin that permitted Jack to think it was pretty unnerving.

"Hello," Wonka exclaimed with a quiver, which was quite charming you would know. "Welcome to my factory," he started at the pirates and the pirates returned him with glittery mean eyes with something very unpleasant lurking in them, or so he thought with a sour tang.

"I shake you warmly by the hand." He stretched out his arm to the crowd. He sounded more adverse than warm.

Wonka waited, and he waited till he gets a reaction. He didn't get any.

Suddenly he decided to pull his hand back. Eyes rolled upwards, sneeringly and un-Wonka like.

"Who am I fooling again?" He muttered sarcastically to himself before looking down on them again. Then, his eyes received the surreptitiousness that perturbed everyone as he kept staring. So he decided to give them another chance. After all, they're Pirates, and his factory has never been attacked by pirates before.

"Would you like to see my puppet show? It's quite amusing." He spoke very slowly and cautiously as if he spoke to a child, directed a gloved hand towards his back.

"Not that, _too_?" Wonka's surprise then flustered. "Heh, weh-heh... O-_kay, _hee..." he giggled.

Suddenly, Wonka's nervousness was taken over by some kind of bother. He frowned and immediately looked downwards at the deep brown eyes that gazed back at him. They were gazing very oddly at him. The chocolatier chose not to relate, but he examined that odd person. _And who would that be?_ He thought, still frowning and very madly. He seems to be standing there so smugly as if he's indestructible. Willy noted the hat. _Oh, so now I see._ A smile began to stealthily form on his glowing face. He _is _the captain, ain't he? He smelt the strong breath that made Willy's lips purse and eyes slightly glaze over. Indeed, that's! the captain.

So Willy decided to step down a few steps to have a little chitchat with the captain. As he did, he found himself standing in front of two figures, circling his cane enthusiastically along.

"So this be your factory!" came the masculine voice from underneath the hat. Willy nodded wordlessly, but it was obvious that he was bursting with glee.

I don't know whether Wonka's delight was because he was glad of being himself and of owning his factory, or because of the pirate. Besides, it was clear to see that Wonka was really thrilled by that pirate. He saw him as strangely fascinating and roguish and not far from being crazy, and who knew the adventures lying in his past and ahead.

"I see you're the captain?"

The pirate nodded proudly. "Aye," he held out his hand. "I be Captain Jack Sparrow! That's how you'd refer to me, mate."

Wonka narrowed his eyes. "Captain Jack... Jack... Jack Sparrow..." he mused and for a minute he didn't move. Then he exclaimed with a 'hah' that made Jack and his companion jump.

"I've heard about you!"

"'Course you 'ave, mate..." came the snooty answer.

"No... no," Wonka pressed as he inclined his face sincerely to Jack. "I've _heard_ about you!"

When Jack let him note his confusion, he neared his lips to Jack's ear. Jack giggled shakily as Wonka was mumbling something to him. He felt himself being warily watched by his crew members, and cleared his throat lightly when Willy straightened his back and retrieved his upright position.

"No, no, alright... but don't tell it to any of me crew, aye?" he said, between light fits of laughs still. He accidentally turned to Anna and there was her stern look. He cleared his throat.

Those two men were clowning. It was about time to handle the business they came here for herself and go somewhere with it.

"You, candy-man!"

Willy whirled round with a struck interest.

"Willy Wonka." He watched solemnly, his violet spheres half dazed, half sparkling. The other person stared straight back at him. They were stern eyes. Dark eyes.

"Well, Mr Wonka or so you're called, I suppose you do not suppose tha' we pirates came here for a 'reunion!'"

"Anna, lass! Why that tone, love?"

She ignored Jack's plea and concentrated on the openmouthed candy-man.

"Ooh, a laydee!" Willy crooned lopsidedly before he can save his balance on his cane, planting it between his feet, but a bit closer to Anna, where he intended to incline his body to.

"I see you pirates decide on catching other things than fish, eh?"

Anna's head turned sharply to Sparrow. So was her exclamation. "Captain!"

"Don't worry, darling, Anna," he consoled her. "I'll take it on!"

Jack stamped his right boot forward and Anna stepped back for him to take her place.

"She's me first mate. Clever cat she is, isn't she?"

"No," Wonka seriously disagreed. "She's roguishly handsome. Eh... pretty lady..."

Jack cringed. "Alrigh' if you say so." He glanced at Anna and she gave him one last warning sign. He rolled his eyes towards Wonka.

"You see, mate! We need to enter your factory..." he grunted. "I mean uh..."

Jack tried once again after some trouble remembering lines. "My friend, I'm very much enchanted by your 'sweet' factory. Perhaps you may want to enlighten us... with more?"

Willy tilted his head at Jack's sudden fake courteousness. That sly pirate was bowing, his arms wide to some extent. His eyebrows lifted up when his hopes for a desired answer diminished by that expression on Wonka's creepy face.

"Heh, well. You're pirates and you'll get what you want through _any_ circumstances whether I like it or not _any_way. I choose to give it to you instead of you taking it from me. My dear friends, brace yourselves for you are now allowed to enter a world full of things unimagined and a taste that will take you away where you'll confuse dreams with reality, and reality with dreams!"

Review, aye?


	3. Aboard something else

Hey. This chpater is really short, I intended to go further 'course but had no time. I got loads of projects due which you don't really want to know about so I'll shut up. I hope this little chap will satisfy you (duh, not)and plz look forward for more fun. Thanks for your reviews they'r fab! andthose who are reading this and do not review please do.It's very important for me to know if you're reading the fic or whether you like it or not... okay I'lll shut up...

* * *

Chappy 2

Violet eyes were pleased to have let those pirates drool over the wonders that have yet to come and appear before them. He neared the entrance, when an awareness made Wonka stop, nearly letting half the crew crash into him. His eyes moved skeptically sideways and then his head turned to the pirates. Impatient as they were, they all stood expectantly and waited for Wonka to finally reveal his mystery to them. A long line was waiting. A very, very long line, with all kinds of boisterous deeds lurking behind.

Jack Sparrow as assuredly as you can imagine, immediately found his opportunity to step hungrily towards the factory door. A sharp whoosh trashed in front of him. Jack nearly fainted. He choked, halting himself, seeing his neck almost touching the cane. His eyes turned to Wonka, who was peering back at him with his scrunched up, pale, slight angry face. Wonka self-importantly raised his chin.

"Sorry. Not the whole crew. I don't know those crooks well enough, and I can only keep an eye on less than half of them, you know."

Sparrow glared distastefully at Wonka, but then he located the advantage of it and his glowing pair of browns resigned. "Very well."

Soon Jack Sparrow, Anna Maria, and three other pirates were the ones who were on the front, awaiting the odd chocolatier with odd expressions all over. The others muttered disdainfully in the background. Then came the chirpy exclamation.

"There, I like it much better this way!" Wonka emitted a little whistle as he set his cane back to motion. "Now into the factory, lads, into the factory, here we go..."

Jack's pace was much slower now. He passed by Wonka, very wary of that swinging stick. The chocolatier was still grinning at him ever so carelessly. He waited till all five of them were completely inside his hot lair. Then, the vast, striking doors of the factory shut behind them. Pure darkness was released outside again.

In a wonderland or dreamworld, when you imagine just anything and see it before you, you wouldn't be surprised. But in reality when you enter Wonka's chocolate factory and see those wonders above and around you, you would be surprised, and more than surprised, overwhelmed... demoralized... well it depends on how much or on whether you like candy or not. The truth is almost everyone goes nuts on candy while perhaps a serious pirate detests those kinds of boogers. But does that make you rely on the possibility he wouldn't get enthralled by the wonders set before him? In Wonka's chocolate factory.

"Your dreams?" his voice faltered.

"Well, yes my dear captain. My dreams turning into reality, it is all right here in front of you. Everything I create that I imagine is set in this room. Here's where they can run free, otherwise the world..." Wonka purposely hic-upped. "The queer horrid world out there wouldn't allow it. Here's where I can be what I am – run free and find a home for my beautiful creations. Pluck out a berry from that berry tree above your head. I created it. It's delicious."

Jack marveled the chocolate room. His eyes were wide and unbelieving as if in a dream. He silently treaded on top of the lush grass, only feeling its lavish soft swoosh-swoosh amongst his feet, and his face was blank. He spent long moments to look around, to entirely look around the factory if not the whole factory, just this room. Only to be sure a crazy chocolatier wasn't playing tricks on him.


End file.
